10 Phrases That Will Take Your Relationships from Good to Great

Let’s face it – relationships can be tricky. We all want to be a better partner, friend, family member, or coworker, but sometimes, we’re left wondering if we said the right thing…or the wrong thing. As a psychologist with 20 years of experience helping people talk (and listen) in ways that actually work, I’ve collected a list of the kinds of things people in healthy relationships say – not perfectly, but consistently. I’ve learned that the right words at the right time can make all the difference. Whether you are looking to strengthen your bond, clear up confusion, or just show some love, these 10 phrases will take your relationships from good to great.

1. “Would you like my feedback or would you just like for me to listen?” Unsolicited advice can be damaging and this phrase eliminates that risk and gives them an easy out if they don’t want or need advice.

2. “How can I be helpful?” This phrase is a non-intrusive way to offer support. It opens up a space for someone to express their needs and it shows that you’re genuinely ready to support them.

3. “I appreciate/am grateful for you.” When I offered marriage therapy one complaint I heard consistently was that at least one member of the couple did not feel appreciated. Appreciation and gratitude, when expressed with real intention, have the power to transform a relationship. Be specific and let them know what you appreciate and bonus points for saying why! For example, “I appreciate that you always remember my birthday. It makes me feel special and loved.” “I appreciate that you’re so prompt to respond to my emails. It helps me get my job done efficiently.”

4. “Can we come back to this?” If you don’t have a response or if you’re feeling heightened emotions (especially anger), this phase is the equivalent of hitting the pause button. It will lead to fewer conflicts and wiser responses. Just be sure to come back to “it.” This is not a way to sweep things under the rug. In fact, I recommend setting a deadline and circling back around to the topic when the time is right – “Can we come back to this tomorrow morning after I’ve had some time to think about it?”

5. “Please tell me more.” Curiosity connects. In your communications, focus on being interested (rather than just being interesting). Being genuinely curious and interested in others is one of the most powerful ways to foster deeper connections, creating a space where they feel valued, heard, and understood.

6. “I was wrong and I'm sorry for how it affected you.” Expressing regret or acknowledging when you’re wrong is a big deal in any relationship. It takes vulnerability, but it also builds trust and deepens the connection. There are many different versions of this phrase that can work but you want to make a specific apology and, better yet, an apology with intention to improve.

7. "I want to make sure I heard you right—can I repeat it back to check?" This phrase is perfect for making sure you’re truly understanding someone and shows a lot of care for their perspective. This reduces assumptions or misunderstandings. It shows that you are listening and that their message is important to you.

8. “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here.” Or “I don’t want to say the wrong thing, but I also don’t want to stay silent. I'm here.” Now that’s a real moment—the sacred space of “I care deeply, but my words are on strike.” Not knowing what to say doesn’t mean you have nothing meaningful to offer. In fact, sometimes not saying too much is what makes space for healing and connection. What people often need isn’t advice—it’s you. This phrase is ideal for when you want to show up without overstepping.

9. “No.” Setting boundaries is a crucial aspect of healthy relationships. It’s decreases the likelihood of resentment and anger. Saying "no" with kindness and clarity can help ensure that both your needs and the other person's needs are respected. For those who struggle with boundary setting, it may help to start with “soft boundaries.” Soft boundaries can include offering another option that is less taxing for you such as, “I can’t bake cupcakes for the party but I can pick some up from the bakery.”

10. “I don’t know.” Admitting you don’t know something shows honesty. You’re not pretending or bluffing to win points—it signals, "I’m being real with you." That kind of vulnerability builds trust faster than pretending to be a human encyclopedia. When you’re in a relationship where it’s okay to not know, that’s a green flag for emotional safety.

These 10 phrases may seem simple, but their impact can be profound. By integrating them into your relationships, you’ll take your relationships from good to great!