Spoiler: If You’re Googling ‘Do I Need Therapy?’… You Probably Do

… and that’s okay! Therapy isn’t just for people going through a crisis. In fact, even those who seem like they have it all together may secretly be struggling.

Take Melinda Gates, for example. Initially, she was a therapy skeptic. As a successful, powerful woman with a career that had already helped countless others, she didn’t see the need for it. But after the emotional turmoil of a public divorce and the personal challenges that followed, Gates turned to therapy. What she found was life-changing - therapy helped her deal with panic attacks, regain her sense of self, and process the emotional fallout from her difficult situation. Today, she openly advocates for therapy, calling it an essential tool for managing life's challenges, regardless of how “together” you may seem on the outside.

So, if you’re Googling “Do I need therapy?” you already know the answer. I know this because I’ve been you. I’m very open about the fact that I am a therapist with a therapist and over the decades (yes, I said decades), my therapy has had many different objectives. I started therapy after the loss of my father. It was around that time that I learned that my ruminating, catastrophic thoughts were, in fact, not how everyone’s brain works and, instead, I had an anxiety disorder. In addition to grief and anxiety, therapy has also helped me with problem solving and decision making, with goal setting and achievement, with figuring out who I am authentically, with managing some complicated relationships, and one of the great benefits, developing assertiveness skills.

“It’s Not That Bad…”

As a psychologist specializing in working with women, one of the most common reasons women don’t pursue therapy is that things aren’t “that bad.” You’re still showing up. You’re still getting your work done. The kids are alive. You even laughed at something your coworker said on Slack today. So, it can’t be that serious…right?

Therapy isn't reserved for rock-bottom moments. Sometimes it's about preventing the crash before it happens. Waiting doesn’t make it go away. Avoiding your emotional health is like ignoring a check-engine light. You can keep driving, but eventually, something breaks down (and the timing is never good).

Here’s what doesn’t get said enough:

You can be high-functioning and deeply unwell.You can be successful and secretly unraveling.You can be the “strong one” and still need support.

Signs You Might Be Emotionally Struggling (Even If You “Seem Fine”)

Let’s look at some of the quieter, sneakier indicators that therapy might be a good idea:

• You seem to have it all together on the outside, but secretly you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and stretched thin.
• You’re tired all the time, but sleep doesn’t help.
• You cry randomly. In the car. In the shower. At dog food commercials.
• You’re irritable, impatient, and secretly fantasizing about quitting everything and moving to a yurt.
• You feel flat. Not sad, but not joyful either. Just…blah.
• You’re overthinking every decision, even what to eat for lunch feels stressful.
• You keep telling yourself “once this week/month/project is over, I’ll feel better”… but you never do.

If any of that feels familiar, I have a gentle truth for you - You deserve support, even if your life doesn’t look like a disaster.

What Therapy Actually Is

Let’s demystify it real quick:

• It’s not just for trauma (though it’s great for that too).
• You don’t need a diagnosis to benefit or qualify.
• It’s not just venting. It’s learning to understand your patterns, your triggers, your fears, why you do the things you do. AND THEN you learn ways to manage those things.
• It’s a space where you don’t have to be productive, impressive, or okay. Come as you are!

One of the most effective forms of therapy is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is a type of talk therapy that helps people understand how their thoughts, feelings and behaviors are connected. The idea is that the way we think affects how we feel and what we do. CBT is based on scientific research and focuses on recognizing and changing the negative thought patterns that may be keeping you stuck, anxious, depressed, or overwhelmed. It’s not just talking about your problems. It’s learning real tools to change your experience and mindset. It’s about actively changing the way you think, and in turn, how you cope and live.

Final Thought

If you’ve been wondering, questioning, overthinking…If something in you keeps circling back to “maybe I should talk to someone…” That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom. Asking for help isn’t a sign you’re falling apart. It’s a sign that you’re ready to stop pretending that you’re not.

Author: Dr. Beverly J. Pedroche